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Monday, August 23, 2010

The Expendables


You have to hand it to Sylvester Stallone. Now in his mid 60's and not content with fading away into 'where are they now action hero limbo' he has over the past few years, been sustaining not only his own career, but audiences interests. After spending the latter half of the 90's and the first part of this decade in flop after flop, he decided to return to his roots with the franchise that made his name in the first place, ''Rocky Balboa''. A surprising critical and commercial hit, he then followed that up with that other franchise that made him, in ''Rambo''. Now, not content with living out his later years with all his hits and characters gone, he now drums out an action heroes Hall Of Fame extravaganza. Stallone will not be leaving his past anytime soon it seems. For it, Stallone assembles his dream time action Wish List. Actors are known only for their action chops; recent puny 'brains over brawn' types such as Jason Bourne or Bruce Wayne have no place here. If veins are not bulging out of every single muscle on your body, then you are not wanted on this cast list. Stallone Writes and Directs as if he has no concept of the word 'cliche'. But for the many reasons this is one of the clunkiest and cheesiest films of the year, it is also at times, quite entertaining in its own lug headed way.

For many males, this is for them, what ''Sex & The City 2'' was to women. An all out male testosterone fest; simple things like plot or characterisation have absolutely no place here. Not that you would be able to hear any of it over the explosions. Stallone and his crack team of mercenaries for hire seek to overthrow a corrupt general and ex-CIA agent in some small country in South America. An alarming amount of the cast have been languishing in straight to DVD hell for quite some time now. For Lundgren, Austin, Crews and Couture, the prospect of appearing again in a theatrical Summer 'event' movie must have seemed like it was never going to come. After the surprise success of the film in the States, they must be thanking their lucky stars that Stallone remembered them. It does at times feel like it is checking off fan boys desires for fight scenes; Li Vs. Lundgren!!! Stallone Vs. Austin!!! That the acting and dialogue is some of the most grinding in recent memory only adds to it's 80's nostalgic feel. Something tells me Stallone was not intending the piece to be as cliche and irony ridden in its delivery, he just doesn't seem as clever as that. A knowing wink every now and again to the audience could have sold the material a bit better. As it stands, a lot of the film is just bad. Characters reminisce about 'that time in Bosnia' and many (awkward) cuttaways to other team members exist only to show that, hey, all these are just blue collar friends and that these cold blooded killers are just normal people underneath all that muscle and brawn, not to mention, give more screen time to some of the lesser featured Expendables. Sexual tension between them all is palpable but just so some guys in the audience don't get uncomfortable from all that male bonding, Stallone throws in woman troubles for Statham and a corrupt Generals daughter that needs rescuing for himself. While we are on acting it is worth noting that Mickey Rourke actually delivers a very fine monologue about his war experiences. Rourke, in the film as a favour to Stallone, sticks out like a shiny penny. He has acquired genuine acting talent through his many down-trodden years that none of his other team mates could even muster for a second. It is an unexpected scene of emotion in an otherwise extraordinarily loud and very bombastic film.

So with all this focus on the many 'once great action stars' in the film, it surely lives or dies on its spectacle. Stallone goes for broke in many of the scenes here, crowbarring enough gun fights, knife fights, fist fights, car chases and giant plane explosions into the plot as he can muster. Most of these deliver, if only for the fact that the young boy in you will get a small excitement quiver at watching those action heroes you once idolised all those years ago, finally getting another chance to show they still have what it takes, before they are brought out to the pasture. A minor concern is that Stallone shoots things too close, and achieves that dreaded 'what just happened there' bug, that seems to be plaguing most big tent pole releases these days. Somehow, all of these things do not destroy the film going experience. There is at least a sense of fun that was missing from the sometimes too nasty ''Rambo''. After ''The A Team'' and ''The Losers'' we could be forgiven from getting 'action ensemble fatigue', but for the most part this stays entertaining. Events don't run on too long and just simply seeing these guys back on screen is enough to sustain interest. Action is never far away at all times, and it features plenty of bone crunching violence to laugh and wince at. If you're in on the joke then you will certainly get a kick from it. It is best watched through boozy and reminiscent eyes. The boy inside you will not be able to resist.

Verdict: 45%
Weak by almost all standards of judgement, this is pushing the 'so bad its good' category of films. I can't say that it offers much in the way of anything, but I can say that I laughed and whooped along with it. If that sounds like something you might be interested in, then rent next time you and your mates are drinking. If you are a woman, then subtract 20% from the verdict. I look forward to the already announced sequel....

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