Piranha 3-D

It first must be noted that before those sitting high and mighty start sniffing their nose up at this movie, they cannot argue against this: At the very least "Piranha" knows its audience and it plays to it brilliantly. It is a remake about man eating Piranhas set loose on lithe, beautiful bodies during Spring Break. What did you expect? High art, this most certainly is not. What it is however, is the most out and out, rollicking good time you may have at the movies this year. While hardly the first 3D exploitation film, it is certainly the most high profile in recent years, following the dreadful "My Bloody Valentine 3D" released early last year. While that film seemed to have aspirations to knowingly playing to generic and cliche horror conventions, it had a horrible cast, daft set pieces, not an ounce of tension and horrid use of its 3D. "Piranha" on the other hand, not only plays hilariously with its tongue lodged firmly in its cheek, but with actual talent in front and behind the camera. Those who can withstand the copious amounts of blood and ridiculously gratuitous nudity will find a live action cartoon in front of them. Do not take this film for one second seriously; it's cast and director certainly don't. What they do take seriously is entertaining their demographic, something the film does in spades.

It's Spring Break on Lake Victoria, Arizona. Hundreds of students cut loose and go wild here every year. However this is the time that an underground earthquake hits, releasing a large swarm of prehistoric Piranhas from their underground lake. Falling prey first, to a very unfortunate Richard Dreyfuss (in the first of many nods to "Jaws") they then descend on the nubile, party goers on the lake. It's up to a small group of strangers to bond together to escape the snappy jaws of the very vicious fish. One of the small successes of the film is in it's casting. Already mentioned was the very welcome cameo of Dreyfuss, yet there are plenty of other surprises in store. Just seeing Christopher Lloyd back on screen again spouting some fantastic OTT dialogue is enjoyable in its own right. Adding to the 'knowing factor' is including talented comedy actors Adam Scott and one third of 'Human Giant' Paul Scheer. In fact its cast has to be one of the oddest in a while; many average cinemagoers won't understand the simple virtues of seeing seasoned veterans Elizabeth Shue (in her first lead in quite a while), Ving Rhames and the aforementioned Lloyd and Dreyfuss back on screen. Jerry O'Connell hasn't lately been in anything other than what is found in DVD bargain bins, Kelly Brook is hardly a 'serious' actress by anyones standards and the rest of the supporting players are filled out by porn stars. All of this adds to the fun on display and shows Director Aja's intentions from the off. To know these actors is to know perfectly what each character will fulfill. It is shameless in its intentions. Somewhat surprisingly, it's distributers Dimension and The Weinstein Company must have had very little faith in the film. Declining to show the film to critics before the films official release usually screams out 'stinker'. But then a curious thing happened. When the film was released, the film actually received good reviews. Happy that critics seemed to be in on the joke, they immediately greenlit a sequel. This has to be the first time a sequel has been put into development as a result of glowing reviews. The film did not open very successfully in its opening weekend. Probably down to the fact that audiences were not to be aware of the intentionally camp and cheesy tone of the film from its many promotional spots, it is regrettable. It seems that everyone involved got the tone the film was aiming for, apart from those promoting it.

Now as you probably can tell, the film is not plot or character based. It has only two things on its mind: Sex and Violence. And the film offers heavy abundance of both. In fact it spends its first half ogling acres of naked flesh, while then spending the second gleefully and very violently ripping it apart. At its center piece is an admittedly very well choreographed and sustained massacre sequence, as all the Spring breakers run (or is that swim?) afoul of all the vicious underwater carnivores. Aja shoots what resembles "Saving Private Ryan" as a stunningly gory and very literal 'bloodbath'. The lake runs red as decapitations, scalpings and lacerations run rampant. The sheer awesomery of the violence on display is both shocking and hilarious. Credit must go to the great make up effects supplied by KNB, for kitting out an entire lakes worth of amputees and bite victims.

Aja has got a lot of praise over the years. Credited with starting the Extreme French Horror genre in "Haute Tension" he then moved to America to remake a string of forgettable and very po-faced horror flicks. While "Haute Tension" was not the horror masterpiece that many proclaimed it to be, it did show that the Director knew how to handle tension and violence in a picture. He can frame a shot well and knows how to play to demands for the genre in a fresh enough way. I thought his talent was to be dimmed in America, but it seems he has found his feet here. He builds proceedings well enough and handles his cast well. Most impressivily, he seems to be having fun with the material. 3-D is very well handled throughout. The film is after all, an all out and unashamed exploitation picture and Aja relishes in throwing as many bodily functions and objects towards his audience as he can think of. The effect works well in adding to the scream-jump-laugh factor. The creatures themselves are hardly menacing in their CG appearance, but they do the trick and work well on screen. The films revels in its absurdism and gleefully celebrates its debauchery. It is gratuitous in every sense of the word, it has zero brains or originality and it panders to the lowest of the low in its audience demographic, but it is competently made, well acted and most importantly of all, great fun. Audiences do get it wrong sometimes it seems. See it on the big screen with mates and laugh along to the glorious violence and mayhem on display.

Verdict 69%

The definition of a guilty pleasure; this offers mindless, nasty violence and pointless and gratuitous nudity, but I chuckled and laughed throughout. Everyone delivers the ridiculous material with a wink and events are well sustained. The sequel cannot come soon enough. Let's hope they decide against the flying piranhas of James Cameron's original 1981 sequel.

"Piranha" Trailer

Trailer - "127 Hours"

''Inception'' OST

A stunning piece off the ''Inception'' soundtrack. Hans Zimmer again delivers another rousing score to work perfectly with Christopher Nolan's modern masterpiece. Ex -'Smiths' guitarist, Johnny Marr special guests on the Soundtrack and provides the dissonant guitar line here. While sometimes veering too close to Zimmers prior ''Dark Knight'' it still offers plenty of stunning moments as evidenced.

The Expendables

You have to hand it to Sylvester Stallone. Now in his mid 60's and not content with fading away into 'where are they now action hero limbo' he has over the past few years, been sustaining not only his own career, but audiences interests. After spending the latter half of the 90's and the first part of this decade in flop after flop, he decided to return to his roots with the franchise that made his name in the first place, ''Rocky Balboa''. A surprising critical and commercial hit, he then followed that up with that other franchise that made him, in ''Rambo''. Now, not content with living out his later years with all his hits and characters gone, he now drums out an action heroes Hall Of Fame extravaganza. Stallone will not be leaving his past anytime soon it seems. For it, Stallone assembles his dream time action Wish List. Actors are known only for their action chops; recent puny 'brains over brawn' types such as Jason Bourne or Bruce Wayne have no place here. If veins are not bulging out of every single muscle on your body, then you are not wanted on this cast list. Stallone Writes and Directs as if he has no concept of the word 'cliche'. But for the many reasons this is one of the clunkiest and cheesiest films of the year, it is also at times, quite entertaining in its own lug headed way.

For many males, this is for them, what ''Sex & The City 2'' was to women. An all out male testosterone fest; simple things like plot or characterisation have absolutely no place here. Not that you would be able to hear any of it over the explosions. Stallone and his crack team of mercenaries for hire seek to overthrow a corrupt general and ex-CIA agent in some small country in South America. An alarming amount of the cast have been languishing in straight to DVD hell for quite some time now. For Lundgren, Austin, Crews and Couture, the prospect of appearing again in a theatrical Summer 'event' movie must have seemed like it was never going to come. After the surprise success of the film in the States, they must be thanking their lucky stars that Stallone remembered them. It does at times feel like it is checking off fan boys desires for fight scenes; Li Vs. Lundgren!!! Stallone Vs. Austin!!! That the acting and dialogue is some of the most grinding in recent memory only adds to it's 80's nostalgic feel. Something tells me Stallone was not intending the piece to be as cliche and irony ridden in its delivery, he just doesn't seem as clever as that. A knowing wink every now and again to the audience could have sold the material a bit better. As it stands, a lot of the film is just bad. Characters reminisce about 'that time in Bosnia' and many (awkward) cuttaways to other team members exist only to show that, hey, all these are just blue collar friends and that these cold blooded killers are just normal people underneath all that muscle and brawn, not to mention, give more screen time to some of the lesser featured Expendables. Sexual tension between them all is palpable but just so some guys in the audience don't get uncomfortable from all that male bonding, Stallone throws in woman troubles for Statham and a corrupt Generals daughter that needs rescuing for himself. While we are on acting it is worth noting that Mickey Rourke actually delivers a very fine monologue about his war experiences. Rourke, in the film as a favour to Stallone, sticks out like a shiny penny. He has acquired genuine acting talent through his many down-trodden years that none of his other team mates could even muster for a second. It is an unexpected scene of emotion in an otherwise extraordinarily loud and very bombastic film.

So with all this focus on the many 'once great action stars' in the film, it surely lives or dies on its spectacle. Stallone goes for broke in many of the scenes here, crowbarring enough gun fights, knife fights, fist fights, car chases and giant plane explosions into the plot as he can muster. Most of these deliver, if only for the fact that the young boy in you will get a small excitement quiver at watching those action heroes you once idolised all those years ago, finally getting another chance to show they still have what it takes, before they are brought out to the pasture. A minor concern is that Stallone shoots things too close, and achieves that dreaded 'what just happened there' bug, that seems to be plaguing most big tent pole releases these days. Somehow, all of these things do not destroy the film going experience. There is at least a sense of fun that was missing from the sometimes too nasty ''Rambo''. After ''The A Team'' and ''The Losers'' we could be forgiven from getting 'action ensemble fatigue', but for the most part this stays entertaining. Events don't run on too long and just simply seeing these guys back on screen is enough to sustain interest. Action is never far away at all times, and it features plenty of bone crunching violence to laugh and wince at. If you're in on the joke then you will certainly get a kick from it. It is best watched through boozy and reminiscent eyes. The boy inside you will not be able to resist.

Verdict: 45%

Weak by almost all standards of judgement, this is pushing the 'so bad its good' category of films. I can't say that it offers much in the way of anything, but I can say that I laughed and whooped along with it. If that sounds like something you might be interested in, then rent next time you and your mates are drinking. If you are a woman, then subtract 20% from the verdict. I look forward to the already announced sequel....

''The Expendables'' Trailer

Knight And Day

With "The A-Team" last week, it surprisingly found itself under heavy comparison with other similarly themed films of this year "The Losers" and "The Expendables". Quite odd seeing that all were produced and released around the same time showing that none of them can be accused of ripping off each other. Hollywood has a history of releasing similar films during the same year. You only have to look to "Deep Impact" and "Armageddon", "Antz" and "A Bugs Life", and "Dantes Peak" and "Volcano". Which brings me to "Knight And Day". While the wise-cracking, tough guy action ensembles seems to be one of the filmic trends of the year, then so too, is the action, romantic comedy. Joining "Knight And Day" this year was "The Bounty Hunter" and "Date Night". These films all offer the same things and cynically, could be looked as simply ticking off boxes for multiple demographics. Action and excitement for him and sweet romance for her. Comedy is the thing that can link these two conflicting themes together. You can't blame Hollywood for trying really, as it seems a sure thing to get both genders to the same movie, as opposed to being dragged along to "Sex & The City 2" or "Iron Man 2" by your other half depending on your sex. The result for all films in this mould have all been the same. In struggling to balance so many conflicting themes, and trying to appeal to such a broad audience something gets lost or falls behind in the final mix.

Tom Cruise plays Roy Miller, a spy on the run from his own agency and accused of going rogue. Cameron Diaz is June Havens, a sweet simple, girl next door. Through events they are brought together on the same flight. June is believed to be with Roy and as a result, the two are forced to go on the run together, getting into various scraps and scrapes all over the world, all the while harboring a 'will they, won't they' relationship. Peter Sarsgaard turns up as the agent tracking Cruise's and Paul Dano gets a fleeting part as a junior scientist genius. Despite the talents of those supporting actors, both are wasted. Focus is kept primarily on our leads and as a result, the film lacks a decent antagonist or MacGuffin. Why get actors of that caliber only to have them so wasted in their respective roles? Lucky then, that Cruise and Diaz share decent chemistry. This is the only film of the Summer relying on simple star power to sell to audiences. It does not carry the hype of other films falling back on iconic characters, or previous tried and tested material. Thank goodness then that both leads deliver. Diaz is as spunky and proficient as she has been in a while while Cruise provides the main draw to the films charm. This is as likeable and charismatic as he has been in years. He has far too many knockers in the world and despite what many think of his private life, the fact remains that he is never less than reliable and constantly delivers decent performances. Here he is affable and charming and shows just why he has managed to stay on top of his game for so long. That the film was not a huge runaway hit in the States (despite the fact it has made twice its budget back internationally) shows that his wattage might unfortunately be dipping. I myself still thinks he has what it takes to carry a major motion picture and when he is on form there are few who can match his charisma.

Director Mangold has been steadily working in wildly different genres for the past few years now. To take a look at his CV shows just how versatile he is. Results from him are never less than watchable. Here in his first major Hollywood release he proves very adept at handling the many action scenes. However there are points when the laughs just doesn't seem to blend with the large body count on screen. While remaining fairly bloodless (censorship is odd like that) Cruise still manages to mow down his fair share of agents and other interceptors after our two heroes. Another problem is the fact that while Cruise is one of the main reasons to see the film, he is absent for a large chunk of the films third act, leaving Diaz to carry the film on her own. The comedy dries up and events grow tiresome waiting for Cruise to appear again (the film paints him as an almost super-hero agent, completely incapable of getting badly injured). So while the action crackles along, Cruise shines and Diaz acts her best 'normal girl caught up in this mess' the film never rises above watchable. Shame as there was certainly talent in front and behind the camera. The final result seems wasted.

Verdict: 51%

Cruise reminds just how adept and competant he is at the action, laughs and old fashioned leading man status and Diaz shows genuine chemistry with her fellow co-star, but supporting characters are wasted, the plot soon wavers and the incredible body count is at odds with the films comedy and romance. Mangold is a talented Director but lets events get out of control and the result becomes tiresome. That final bike chase is good fun though.

"Knight And Day" Trailer

Trailer - "Black Swan"

Darren Aronofsky returns after the award winning success of "The Wrestler". And it seems like he hasn't forgot his roots here, with this latest trailer for his brand new film. It seems this is a return to the freakish, and disturbing themes and images of earlier works "Pi" and "Requiem For A Dream". Really cannot wait to see this one. The film is scheduled for American release on December 1st of this year. No European date has been announced yet.

Trailer - "Catfish"

A really intriguing idea this is. It seems to be a really interesting mystery documentary. I'm sure you can find the twist somewhere online, but why spoil the surprises the film has in store for you? It's very rare for a documentary like this to come along and it will live or die on its 'big shock reveal'. But for now, I am suitably intrigued. The film has no release date in Europe yet.